is anyone anticipating the opening of my blog? HAHAHA. so yay, HUISHAN'S BACK! A's is finally over for me and i didn't perform really well, but i've tried.

anyway, i discovered something during A's. apparently, the colour red is still considered an auspicious colour to many of our age. haha! i've got a friend who wears red FBT, some who wore red underwear and some wore red socks during A's.

it's been pretty fast. two years just come and go and though it's the time to let our hair down and enjoy all that we can, it's still quite upsetting knowing that some of us are going our separate ways. sighhhh. i will really miss a lot of things about MJC, particularly my clique for all the bridge sessions. every single break, even during A's, we can be found at the study benches behind the lecture theatres playing bridge! haha!

i'm gonna miss meiyan for her outright frankness and obssession with KFC and also her inability to speak hokkien and her imba cantonese. i'm gonna miss mag for being so nice though i'm very mean to her at times and for that, i'm sorry. i'm gonna miss jingmei for her realistic thinkings and virtual boyfriend yamapi, waner for her calm composure as though nothing could ever scare her.
i will miss eunice for her blur character and nicole for her This-Movie-Is-Wasted-On-You speech made towards me some day in the canteen haha.

there are many other people i willl miss! jeremiah, for his comforting words each time i'm unhappy. caroline, for her inability to keep some stuffs from mr lau (HAHA!). maoqiang, for his gossips and shamelessness. too many people for me to list down one by one, but in short, i'm gonna miss everyone who really made an impact in me. =)

so right now, i'm gonna plan 08s501 class chalet and i hope the plan survives till the end and not die down halfway. heh. i'm also currently seeking jobs so if anyone has any good lobang, jie shao to me ok!

one last post before i officially abandon my blog.


everyone has their limits and i almost reached mine yesterday. i am at a loss over my results, particularly in chemistry. apparently, surresh came into my class and started scolding all of us for failing, particularly eunice and i since we are in the better group. perhaps, it hasn't dawned on them that i just entered that group and my marks were the lower limit of that group.

so, the words that came out from her mouth affected me a lot. i was so worried, so stressed and being the emotional type, i cried. my mum spoke to me, so did my dad. yeah, that's the severity. to me, it's not so much about failing the inorganic test. rather, it is my inability to pass chemistry for the whole year that got me demoralised and i really feel like giving it up totally.

i entered MJC with a strong passion in chemistry, and i definitely do not wish to leave MJC with lousy grades for chemistry. surresh was the one who approved my appeal into MJC and for that, i am really grateful to her. chemistry shall be my top priority now and if i ever bother anyone of you about chemistry, please pardon me.

it's merely 3 months more to A's. i am still struggling. and i'm very worried. i don't want to give up at this juncture. though this is the first time someone painted such a bleak future to me, i don't wanna give up. though this is the first time that fears of not getting into a local university engulf me, i don't wanna give up.


and as i have mentioned in my first sentence, this shall be my last post till A's officially end. you will not see me online anymore, neither will you see me updating this blog. if there's a need to contact me, you guys can always call me. the only times i use the computer will be just to check my mail and IVLE.


see you in four months time, blackregrets.

so many times, i secretly yearned.



after waiting for 5 weeks, finally. to think i thought something happened to me. haha. paranoid.

the school is starting to stress us. from principal's talk to english HOD's talk to mr hing's talk. every teacher is selfish. they just wanna see their students doing well in the subject they teach. true, they kept emphasizing "yes we know you have a lot of other subjects to revise BUT..." yeah, the word "but" just suggests that they don't care. the ultimate thing that we, as students, have to do is just to finish everything and not waste time on the internet, on sms, on tv.

and if we are deprived of all forms of entertainment, we are as good as living corpses. the purpose of life, may i ask, is solely for studying? singapore kids may have the best mathematics and science results, but in terms of quality of life, i think we're ranked all the way at the bottom.

4 more months and i'll be free. so persevere, huishan. perservere.

hi world. haven't been updating my blog. watched harry potter and the half blood prince yesterday. shall not be a spoiler. i think it's worth it and not like what others made it out to be. but my whole experience was not very good. 'cause there were some people who just don't know how to practice basic courtesy or manners or whatever you call it. imagine someone going out of the cinema thrice to talk on the phone and even talked on the phone in the theatre itself?! and by going out thrice, that filthy bitch blocked my view six times (you have to count the times she walked back into the theatre). and this uncle kept shaking his legs and the chair kept creaking. maybe he had stroke or something. thankfully i don't know the school of that filthy bitch if not i would have complained to the school. don't look surprised. i've done it before.

anyway, school was exceptionally tiring today. i slept in like, 3 or 4 lessons. sian. surprised yijie at TPJC with a small cake before going to school. hahaha! HAPPY BIRTHDAY YIJIE AND SYLVANUS! =D

quick update.

my MYE results are CCSSS. which is quite upsetting. improved in every subject except maths. maths. maths. sigh. so other than maths and GP, i failed the rest. and it's kinda worrying. i mean, it's already MYE and i'm still getting so many S. naturally, i will panick.

anyway, volunteering for NDP is over. i am so disgusted by some bitch yesterday. shall not talk more about her except that i kept ignoring her while poor minyu has to entertain her 'cause three of us are in a group. how lucky right omg. and she is damn desperate for the attention of army guys. ohohoh, i have to mention how cool my leader is. she was like, wearing a bandanna, then i thought it was just a hair accessory. who knows, she's bald and that's because she went for the "hair for hope" thing. walao, chong bai her can. she just snipped her hair off for charity like that. i've been talking about that for 2 years already but still no guts to do it. haha.

okok, i got to go and study for tomorrow's chem test.

grazed my knees today during PE! hahaha ORH CEH already. pauline choy in charge of my pe elective games yo. handball. she is one weird woman, always asking us to hurry and hurry and hurry. pe also must ganchiong. tsk.

got back my econs results from mr hon. i wasn't exactly happy and actually felt like tearing 'cause i was pretty confident of my essays but i failed all. in terms of h2 econs, i got only 33.7%. but since the school is gonna record my results as h1 econs, it is 40.1%, which is a subpass. nothing to be proud of because almost everyone in my h1 econs class did better than that. so yar, kinda disappointed, kinda upset, but kinda encouraged by mr hon who said that he wants me to go for consultations especially in my microecons 'cause he can see that my microecons is weak. anyway, at least i see an improvement compared to my MBT econs results.

got back GP paper 2. and yeah, got a C for overall GP. 58 marks and yeah, i achieved another goal of mine. so the next thing is to aim for B. =)


i don't know if it's just me being sensitive or there's a problem between us. i only wanna prove that as long as i'm willing to work hard, i can produce results.

mr lau gave caroline and i some stuffs he bought from japan. so yeah, hahaha. feel quite paiseh, that's why maybe, probably, perhaps my face turned red. meiyan asked me a weird question today and hahaha, we actually have the same taste and chose the same person as the answer. tsk.

getting a bit random already, so haha i shall end here. thanks minyu, for your chocolate sunflower seeds and that encouraging letter! =D

I WANNA BITCH!

you know, in my 1.5 years in mjc, i've never liked this fellow. i would prefer not to be associated with him in one way or another because he disgusts me too much. if one has no looks but a decent character, so be it. generally, this person will still be likable. but if one has no looks AND no character, then there's something very wrong.

this person that i'm talking about, well let's call him P. P is someone you won't take a second look. if anyone ever take a second look at him, it's probably 'cause they wanna confirm someone so terrible looking exists in this world. if one has a nice character, no matter how ugly that person is, no one will judge him based on his looks and may in fact think that he's not bad looking, for the character in him will offset everything. but too bad, this person has a wicked heart and hence, he becomes uglier day by day to me.

being confident of oneself is perfectly alright. but when one starts getting too confident and shows off, the problem comes. P has been a big showoff ever since i've known him. i won't say he's smart, 'cause he had to put in double the effort to achieve the same results as others who may have merely done last minute studying. though P has smaller brain capacity than others, P has this habit to put others down. P likes to say out his thoughts, which to others, may seem insensitive and offensive. P thinks he's smart so he said something like he won't get a C for A's because "having a C is so ugly". and mind you, he said that loud enough for the people beside to hear. i thought things of the same category should be grouped together? i think you will get a C 'cause you are so ugly.

and mjc maths department has recently done some banding. and well, since P is oh-so-smart, he's in the best group, which is band 1. and being in the best group, he forgot humility. and so he said, "those who got into band 3 for maths, mei you jiu le". for those who don't understand, it just mean that there's no hope for those who are in band 3 for maths. what a statement. just because other people are weaker, doesn't mean they can't score well. just like how you're ugly doesn't mean you should go and die though i think you should die sooner so that the world will be rid of one more bastard.

reading till here, AREN'T YOU PISSED? 'cause i am. i can never believe how such a person actually exist! and the strangest thing is, no one has ever told P right in the face what a motherfucker he is. why?! i've given him attitude and snapped at him before and i felt guilty about that previously. but now, all the guilt just disappear. 'cause this kinda person deserved to be humiliated, just like how he did to several others. he deserved to be shamed, to be ostracised, to be ignored. how can anyone tolerate that?!

and like what a friend of mine said, P probably has to boost his own self esteem through his results 'cause he has no looks. makes sense right? but i think his self esteem will be trampled into dust one day because, HE IS NOT SMART. JUST HARDWORKING. i may sound like a bitch here, but i assure you, when you have come into contact with him before, you will be on my side. being ugly is ok, but when one is ugly but claimed that others are ugly too, it makes him seem more pathetic because YOU HAVE TO PUT OTHERS DOWN TO BRING YOURSELF UP.

LOSER.

it's not difficult to guess who this person is. go on, i know you guys read my blog. think he's your friend right? showing your loyalty to a bastard right? go on, tell him. i don't think he will have any guts to retort because he is in the wrong. besides, his whole world revolves around studies and winning others only. but uhoh, maybe this post will crushed the little self esteem he has left.

went to watch "battle for terra" yesterday at orchard. it's a premiere and my sister won the tickets through some online contest. since it's one pair, i asked minyu to go along and omg i totally regretted watching that show because it was super boring. mind you, it's a 3D cartoon show. the one that you get to wear the oh-so-cool special specs WHICH WAS SO BIG AND KEPT SLIPPING DOWN MY NOSE BRIDGE AND PRESSING AGAINST MY NOSE. and i slept halfway. omg, I SLEPT WHILE WATCHING A CARTOON. that's how boring. and when the show started, minyu was like whispering, "omg they're (the characters) so ugly." HAHAHA. and 'cause i wore the specs, no one could tell if i'm sleeping. kns show. wasted my one hour fifteen minutes when i could have done my econs at that time instead of staying up till 1am.

huishan.
10 June 1991
i'm happy as can be, but i might not update my blog as often as before if i find a job.